Dear You,
Yes I kept on hiding this feeling for almost a year and a half now. And I know that youre not aware about it. But I guess Ill never let you know.
If to be loved is the only possible thing that can make a person completely happy, then I would rather accept the fact that Ill never be happy in my entire life, cause the decision is with you whether if you will love me or not. And I know perfectly that your decision will not give me the happiness that Im longing for.
For now I have to live in regrets, regret from leaving you and staying away from you. I know I made it so easy for you to hate me, hate me even as much as I hate myself from loving you completely. I thought to be bitter is the only way for me to escape from the reality that Im falling for you badly. And now I just have to let myself be sorry for it.
If you only realize how much youve hurt me before because of loving someone who is so close to my heart. Its like your killing me each time you tell me how much you love him. If you only know how much I love you also.
Honestly, Ive never felt this feeling in my entire life. To fall for someone and live with the fact that, that someone will never ever feel the same way for me. Its undeniably painful dear.
Yes indeed, Ive just realized how much I still love you, how much Im wiling to take the risk just to be with you. Eating my pride isnt such an easy thing to do for it invaded my freedom to use my mind over my heart this time.
Sometimes Im thinking if you already knew about it, if you already realized how much I love and hate you at the same time. But I guess youll never know because your too focus on loving someone, someone who is better than me, and someone whom I can never be.
I would rather keep my feelings than to let you know. Youll just have to figure it out yourself.
PS: If you dont feel the same way now, but you think that there might be a chance for us to be together someday, just please let me know because even if it wont work in the end "Ill still grab every single chance just to be with you."
Love, ME........